What is Shame? Why People Feel Shame?

Shame is the emotion of self-blame through which a person accepts responsibility for morally, socially illegal, inappropriate actions. Shame increases – when a person does something bad to himself/herself or others. Shame directs the focus inward – and casts us in a negative light.

Reasons Why People Feel Shame:

  • Violating the social norms we believe in makes us feel ashamed – humiliated and unable to look others directly in the eye.
  • Feeling ashamed when one receives negative evaluations from others. Shame arises when failures and transgressions become public.
  • Shame is felt when the person involved fails and there are no mitigating circumstances.
  • Shame makes us feel small and worthless when anger, self-loathing, and unwanted feelings begin to take over.
  • When shame remains unresolved—it leads to potentially harmful behaviors such as substance abuse or self-harm. So – it is imperative to address shame as soon as possible.

Example:

  • One may feel shame for one’s poverty, background, or physical or mental defects.
  • I feel really ashamed of myself – how could I forget his/her birthday!
লজ্জা হল আত্ম-দোষের আবেগ যার মাধ্যমে নৈতিক, সামাজিকভাবে অবৈধ, অনুপযুক্ত কর্মের জন্য ব্যাক্তি দায় স্বীকার করে। লজ্জা বাড়ে – যখন ব্যাক্তি নিজের অথবা অপরের জন্য খারাপ কিছু করে। লজ্জা ফোকাসকে অভ্যন্তরীণ দিকে পরিচালিত করে – এবং আমাদেরকে নেতিবাচক আলোর দিকে নিয়ে যায়।

মানুষের লজ্জা বোধ করার কারণ:

  • যে সামাজিক নিয়মে বিশ্বাস করি তা লঙ্ঘন করলে আমরা লজ্জা বোধ করি – অপমানিত বোধ করি এবং  সরাসরি অন্যের চোখের দিকে তাকাতে পারি না।
  • লজ্জা বোধ করেন যখন কেউ অন্যদের কাছ থেকে নেতিবাচক মূল্যায়ন পায়। ব্যর্থতা এবং সীমালঙ্ঘনের প্রকাশ্য প্রকাশ হলে লজ্জার উদ্ভব হয়।
  • যখন জড়িত ব্যক্তি ব্যর্থ হয় এবং কোন প্রশমন পরিস্থিতি নেই তখন লজ্জা বোধ করে।
  • যখন রাগ, আত্ম-বিতৃষ্ণা এবং অনাকাঙ্ক্ষিত অনুভূতিতে প্রভাব ফেলতে শুরু করে তখন লজ্জা আমাদের ছোট এবং মূল্যহীন করে তোলে।
  • যখন লজ্জা সমাধান ছাড়াই থাকে- তখন এটি পদার্থের অপব্যবহার বা আত্ম-ক্ষতির মতো সম্ভাব্য ক্ষতিকারক আচরণের দিকে পরিচালিত করে। সুতরাং – যত তাড়াতাড়ি সম্ভব লজ্জা সমাধান করা অপরিহার্য।

উদাহরণ:

  • কেউ নিজের দারিদ্র্য, পটভূমি বা শারীরিক বা মানসিক ত্রুটির জন্য লজ্জা অনুভব করতে পারে।
  • আমি নিজেকে নিয়ে সত্যিই লজ্জিত বোধ করি- তার জন্মদিনের কথা কি করে ভুলতে পারি!

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